T! T!T

A wiseman seldom writes in his mind, but take a picture.


mai 2013

Can we swim in the gaseous water?

Picture 046Normally, we can swim accross the river of 10 meters (if you swim well) with no problem if there isn’t any crocodile. But what if the river contains gaseous water, can we still swim? Is it easier to swim in the gaseous water then pure water? Well, I am not talking about chlorine gas which is the most efficient means of treating poor water since it sanitizes and oxidizes the water.


What can I do?

IMG_0250I’m turning 22 this August, and I am straight. I got teased in the high-school because everyone thought I was gay. In my Uni, nobody seems wanting to ask me if I am heterosexual, but I am totally considered as a beautiful young lady. When I meet new people they inevitably ask if I’m gay. When I tell them I’m straight, I can always tell that they’re surprised or that they think I’m lying. But once I told them I am bisexual, they asked more questions that I cannot really know the answers. My parents have both told me at one point or another that it’s okay if I’m gay, and that they’ll accept me no matter what. My friends always try to introduce me to guys they know. Some even register my names to find guys for me. I hate sports but I love to go shopping. I don’t like hunting but i love to drink orange juice and read a book at home. I don’t like getting dirty but i like to cook food and doing housework. I’m afraid of cockroach but I am attracted to women.

Sad story!!

980522_10151666729868489_952389022_oLook in the mirror with all tears & say “You have to be strong. Everything’s going to be alright” .The pain does not stop. The more I feel it the more I get immune. Actually, he pain doesn’t really go away, it’s just that u just get used to it. Would you imagine a kid at age of 8 saying these words out? Sorin’s parents had gotten a divorce and abandoned him when he was 5. Then he fled to live with his grandma. Not very long, his grandmother passed away.

Long Goodbye!

920577_10151601923758489_741004745_oI could not stop crying in the middle of the night, and did not want to. I took a pencil out writing of what I dreamt about last night. It dreamt very much like a sad novel, but retained the unforgettable and unmistakable gravity of truth. The dream packed a very powerful emotion which punched my face painfully. This woke me up but the reality did not. I look in the mirror, seeing myself, and always say  » everything’s gonna be alright  » with all the tears coming down like nothing happened. Most people never imagine of how they die, but I do. I’d love to change the shape of how I die. This sounds crazy, right?

Dozens of pictures of a couple at home, eating out in the restaurants, at the beach and with family were posted on their accounts. On Top’s, Top’s my girlfriend’s name, Facebook page, nothing seemed to have been amiss as she posted that she was talking with bébé, which is me, and said she was getting ready for the happy-ending celebration, which was actually her wedding party.
Top and I were a lesbian couple for 3 years. 3 Weeks before her wedding, Top told me she was forced to be engaged and gotten married in 3 weeks. She asked me what she could do, and said she could not live without me. “Look at your stupid life. See how it hurts everyone around you. Open your eyes before it’s too late. You have destroyed this family & my future grandchildren. Stop being that stupid lesbian, and be normal one.” Top documented what her father’d blamed her. It’s actually a really sad story that her own relationship with her family has been broken while she was just trying to do what her heart seeked for. Isn’t it funny “religious freedom and liberty” doesn’t include gay people’s right to live their lives free of the liberated from other people’s religious beliefs? 2 hours before the murder suicide happened, Top called me and told me she loved me. She asked me if I believed in rebirth. That was bizarre. I replied “yes, I do”. “Good”, she said. I did not suspect any murder would happen since she laughed and said she’d kick her husband if he dared to touch her a tap.
Until at 11:50pm, she spoke out “What a long goodbye, dear..! I do not want to lose you but I can’t go on. I have to give up since you already know that the world is so unfair. The world created a love that cannot be shared, but as you go your own way and I have to go mine. Perhaps it’s our fate. I don’t want to run away, but I don’t want to be alone. Only if I leave, everything would be better. Promise me that you would live and make children! I don’t want to hang up but can’t do. Would you kiss me, bébé?  ». The phone was hanged up. I tried to called her but unavailable. I left home in that night to her house with my Brother, Tit. I could hear a noised of men in front of Top’s house. I was pale but I whispered to myself that everything would be fine. Arriving there, I could see a dead body covered with white cloth. My heart pounded faster and faster. Oh, gosh; a white small pity face with the bruise around the neck and tears in the eyes, and dressed in Khmer traditional costume is her face, Top’s face, lying down on the floor.

I cried, cried & cried, and I shouted, shouted & shouted. Top didn’t answer me. For few minutes passed, I was unconscious.

Mid-night again, I woke up. I wished everything was just a dream but.. I am writing letter now.


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